i hate my self , i’m ugly & pathetic?
Byi dont know where to start , and btw my english sucks but i’ll try .. i’m a girl , 17 old
i’m the most ugly-est girl ever ,, i’m so ugly ..I’m afraid to look at the mirror .. really i’m not lieing if i saw myself in a puplic place by accident i closed my eyes and try not to remmber how i looked .. when some girl give me a mirror in school asking me to llook to myself i gat so afraid and say noo and i want to cry .. i’m not scared of seeinng myself when i’m all alone and in my bedroom and nobody is watching me .. only if someone was there .. even When I’m alone and I imagine somethingi do to cover the mirror so I do not see myself .. i think my mom dont like me ,,& she’s ashamed of me she even told me that i’m ugly and my cousins is prettier than me ,, when i first rold her i want to be an a broadcaster .. she looked at me and said while she laugh who will hire you they want a sexy girl & beautifull !! this words kills me deep inside and i dont want to be an abroadcaster anymore , i dont blame her but its hurts me ! she doesnt take me with her anywhere .. partys / weddings / Visits / malls .. i’m so shy , insecure & unconfident .. each person told me i’m beautiful I saw the looks of pity or Spoof in his eyes .. i’m not that ugly but everything makes me ugly .. my hair my body my eyes ,, i dont even like myself .. i have weakness in my eyes muscle causes me eye deviation , i been bullied at school because of this they were making fun of me alots .. i cried and beg my family to make for me an surgery but they said its too dangerous !! my lips is big like a fish !! AND MY BRA SIZE IS B .. that means i have no breast & girl is always bragging about there breast infront of me ! and my a*s is little big !! you know that kids draw me they draw me Straight from the top and huge under !! there is no boy who tried to get close to me in my life .. There is no boy even looked at me !! I dont know how to put makeup ! my mother was always and still dont allow me to from buying or experience it .. this makes me feel embarrassed when a girl ask me what kind of makeup i have or where I traveled .. i feel sad when i hear girl talking about places they went to .. I did not ride airplane only once in my life and it was sucks ! i get sick ! .. i dont know what to do .. btw my hair is so weak and they’re Falling every day .. actully I cut him off .. this is my bigest problem .. i told my mom i need a therbest but she said no ppl will said i’m insane !! i dont care !! … i cute him off alot and mum ont care .. I cut him off from five years untill now .. i have no hair i hav\te so much I always tie my hair .. am so afraid from that day when ppl know this secret .. mum always told me that ppl oneday will know and they’ll think i’m insane !! .. my dad is kind but when he get mad he beacome another person he hit me and wish i died and tell me really cruel word but my dad word isnt as bas my mum word .. when mum get mad she sont know what she’s saying and i realy get hurt from her words .. I Been bullied and there is a lot of people who said very bad words about me but i’m too shy and scares i dont know what to tell them or how to stop them .. i have no firend !! expect my cousin but i cant tell her what i feel .. i’m afraid of open my heart and tell ppl what in it they’ll think i’m mad or something .. so i think writing it is the best way ,.. i know i write alot i’m sorry i’m soo sorry but i’m alone and i wanted to share my pain with someone .. fyi i tried to kill myself once and when i told my mum she didnt care she only said with careless tongue ” Ask for forgiveness from the god ” and she ignored me and continued talking ith my little brother .. & I am the oldest girl of all my brothers .. thank you if you read .. may my lord bless your soul <3
Editor's Picks-
Leave a Comment
You must be logged in to post a comment.
6 Comments
February 13th, 2011 at 4:24 pm
me too. XD
sorry to hear about you.
February 13th, 2011 at 4:48 pm
I’m sure you’re not half as ugly as you feel, and you feel that way because you’re surrounded by terrible people. You’re 17. As soon as you’re 18, get out on your own. No one said it will be easy, but you do not have to tolerate people treating you like that. They are the ones who are wrong, not you. Don’t ever give up.
February 13th, 2011 at 5:35 pm
Wow….I’m kinda at a loss for words my dear. It sounds like a horrible family situation and for that I am sorry. I would encourage you to brush up on your wit, when dealing with your mom, but that would probably make a bad situation worse. As for looks and ego, work out, nourish your hair with natural product, stop comparing yourself to others, and learn who you are inside, and what you want for you in life. At 17 you can pretty much move out away from your situation at any point in time ( I left home at 15) Don’t get me wrong, doing this is an insanely hard life to live, between school and working to support yourself, but it IS possible ( I know this cause I’m proof!)
You have a lot of growing up to do yet hun, and you are in the hardest point in your life right now, especially in our society that bases everything on what is “cool” in hollywood.
I wish you the best of luck, I would say you can write me if you have any questions or whatever, I suppose you can try, I don’t know how to adjust my settings on Y/A
February 13th, 2011 at 6:27 pm
just stop it… breathe… stop being so gullible.
theres a girl at my school, she was burnt as a baby and has bald spots, rough skin, mutations.. but guess what? i think she is such a lovely girl. she has a great smile, she’s caring and has lots of friends.
my best friend has buck teeth, and looks much younger than she is, but to me she is the most amazing beautiful girl i ve ever met. she has such a fantastic personality and connects with me so well. she has a really lovely nature too.
my other best friend has skoliosis to a major degree that it is noticible. but she is such an awesome person to be around. she and i click like that. we have so much in common and she has such an awesome smile.
these “flaws” are what make my friends beautiful and unique and the lovely people they are. i am so glad i met them, they have made such a huge imprint in my life.
if these people are able to show off their fantastic features and believe in themselves then you can too. why would you listen to your mother? she sounds like an insecure abusive so and so. you should be hanging around people who make you feel loved and cared for, and most of all, people who you can love and care for.
these three girls send a strong message into the dim suffering world. that you are who ever you want to be.
its not about being the best, its about being the best YOU can be. go out and get a hair cut that you like or maybe dye your hair, anything that makes you feel beautiful. use make up that suits your skin and face and features, wear clothes you feel fantastic in. you are beautiful but you need to show it and believe in it. and may i add, big lips are actually very attractive to guys, and sexy.
and next time your mother tells you something terrible, stuff her. she’s probably jealous of you so she’s trying to bring you down.
its your life, make the most of it.
YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL GIRL AND JESUS LOVES YOU!
February 13th, 2011 at 6:40 pm
I suggest that you speak to a counsellor. You need help, and by posting here you’re taking ur 1st step.
I don’t think you’re as ugly as you think, you just have low self esteem.
And so what if you don’t know make up? Me neither and I’m already turning 19 this year. And my bra size is the same as you. And seriously, I don’t think I have no breast. And come on, u wont want guys who come near you just bcos of ur appearance. N I have never dated in my life. So it’s OK. N if you think you have no friends, that’s cos you shut urself out. U think ppl dislike you, so you dare nt go near them. U need to overcome this and it is certainly possible.
And I think your problem is not ur appearance. Your problem is your low self-esteem and the way ur parents are treating you. I think they are making u worse so I suggest that you speak up, to someone whom you can trust or professionals such as counsellors.
All the best. And don’t hate urself. Bcos if you don’t respect urself, you can’t expect anybody to.
February 13th, 2011 at 6:52 pm
Joyce Meyer wrote Power Thoughts and Battlefield of the Mind. Think positive, trade negative thoughts on purpose. In power thoughts, Joyce says…..When you get negative thinking, trade the negative thoughts for positive ones and trade them on purpose. So when you get negative thoughts say….I am not going to think that way today, and then don’t. Instead of thinking of the negative thing, think of your favorite song, poem, Bible verse, or joke, trade the negative for something positive. Maybe you could pick out a song and then if you get bummed out, think of that song. Write post it notes around your house or car or school or work to remind yourself to think positive, or write something positive on them. You have to work at it, when the dark thoughts come in you really have to say….I am not going to think that way today, and then don’t do it. Don’t waste your time on negative thoughts, negative thinking, don’t let things get you down. Joyce says….What makes you think they are right and you are wrong? I think that is a good point.
Be a broadcaster if you want to be one, looks has nothing to do with broadcasting. be who you were meant to be. Research narcissistic personality disorder so you understand your mother. You need to get away from your mother, stay in school get good grades, go to college and then get away from your mother and stay away from her. Read your Bible. To Write Love On Her Arms, twloha.com, is a great web site with lots of information and links so you should find help where you live also. Peace be with you.