Mar
30

is this story good?(please take the time to read it)?

By

this is a short story i wrote for school, PLEASE take the time to read it, i worked very hard on it.

It was noon and I was on my way home from watching the sunset at the Florida Keys. As I was making my way back home, my bare feet made a trail along the wet sand. I already knew my way home, well, to my fake home. The home where I eat and sleep and where my parents argue on a daily basis. That doesn’t sound like home, does it? No, my real home is at the beach, where it’s always so peaceful and you can actually think. As I arrived home, I could already hear my parents arguing. I tried to sneak into my room unnoticed, but my mom caught me.
“Tyler, where have you been!” yelled my mom.
“Where I am everyday” I said with a sigh.
“Go to your room and get some rest, your 8th grade graduation party is tomorrow,” I heard my mom say as I slipped into my covers. My eyes closed, and suddenly I was sound asleep.
The graduation party had begun, and we were all at the beach. I was walking around with a cup of coke in my hand trying to find my best, and kind of my only friend Alyssa. I found her and gave her a hug hello. She was really pretty, average height and brown hair. We’ve been friends since pre-school, and she’s pretty much all I have.
“Get your hands off her!” I heard a familiar, deep voice say. Then I saw Alyssa’s boyfriend, Kevin come.
“What are you doing?” He asked violently.
“I was just saying…” I started, and then I felt a splash on my face as he slammed the cup of coke against my head.
People at school don’t like me too much, I don’t know why though, I’m nice, tall, built, but for some reason I’m always the one people pick on.
“Leave him alone.” Alyssa told Kevin, and then I said, “No, I’m tired of this.”
By now there was already a crowd of people surrounding us, for everyone already knew what was going to happen. I swung my fist across midair, striking Kevin’s jaw. He staggered back a few steps, then fell. The crowd gasped. Once he got up, he threw what seemed like a million punches, one which struck my nose. I started to bleed. Then as dark clouds floated overhead, a thunder roared. I turned around to see where it came from, and all of a sudden I was on the ground with a pool of blood next to me.
When I woke up, there was nothing but water as far as I could see. I turned around, and trees surrounded the area. I walked around a little and then bumped into Alyssa. The bananas that were in her hands fell, and so did we. She got up and yelled, “Tyler!” and gave me the biggest hug of a lifetime.
“Alyssa, where am I?” I asked. Then she started to explain.
“Kevin had knocked you out, and then the storm came. We all had to leave, but I stayed with you. Kevin was telling me to go with him, but I refused. He pushed me down, then there was a big wave, and here we are now.”
I gave her a confused look, and then started to look around. It was clear to us that we were in an island. An island that hasn’t been discovered yet. I followed Alyssa to a fireplace she had built. We both sat down and ate bananas. There was still some light left in the day, so while Alyssa went searching for food, I decided to build a hut big enough for the two of us. Luckily, a few minutes after the hut was complete, it started to rain. The first night went by fast. I woke up the next morning and saw that Alyssa was still sleeping. I looked up and saw that the hut was still standing, I was happy because of that. I looked at the food Alyssa had gathered the previous night, and saw that there wasn’t a lot. The sky told me that it was around six in the morning, a perfect time for fishing. I grabbed a sharp spear-like stick, took off my shirt and headed to the water.
I caught a decent amount of fish, enough for a good breakfast. I started a fire and cooked them. The smell woke up Alyssa.
“Where did you get that?” She asked, eyeballing the fish.
“I went fishing”
She didn’t ask for any details, just sat down and ate the fish I set aside for her.
Today went by slowly; really all we did was explore the island. You’d never believe how much wildlife there was. The sun set, and we were back to our little hut. Alyssa started a fire, and we layed down next to each other and looked up at the stars.
This was one of those moment when reality hits you, when you realize that’s it’s just you and nature. This is when you realize your stranded, and that nothing can save you but luck. We were quiet for a while, and then I heard Alyssa’s voice.
“Tyler, do you think we’ll get through this. Do you think someone will find us and we’ll be saved?”
I was quiet for a little, then answered, “Yes.”
She turned, looked at me and said, “How can you be so sure?”
I looked over at her and grinned. “Because Alyssa, if it’s you and me, anything is possible.”
A teardrop rolled down her cheek as she leaned over to me. Then, our lips touched. It was silent after that; all you could hear was the crackling of the fire, and the sounds of c

Categories : Spear Fishing

1 Comments

1
Carolynn = Lacto-Vegetarian!
March 30th, 2011 at 3:13 am

All I can say is WOW!

That is such a good story!
I got to the middle and it felt like I was Tyler,and I was getting punched,and I was on the stranded island. I loved it! I wish I could let my english teacher read it ,because it was just too good! I would give it an A+!

Great Job!

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