My fiance and I have been together for a little over 2 yrs. Our relationship is not based on s*x, and that’s fine. However, every now and then or even some petting and pa*sion would be great. In the beginning of our relationship, we did have s*x a few times…oh, let me back up, our relationship was originally long distance. I, being a teacher, had more free time to go to him. When we were apart, we would send s*xy videos of ourselves to the other, use the webcam, a couple of times the phone…but that’s not all we did. I thought the chemistry was great. Well, months into our relationship, he found out that he had a child born. The baby was from a short-lived relationship before me. He begged me not to leave him, he said he didn’t know, etc etc. and I believed him. He shared court reports w/ me and everything. He fought hard to get the baby out of foster care. He said he wanted his family, me and the baby – asked me to be mom. After much prayer and consideration, I accepted. I was also concerned about bonding with the baby from a distance. A situation arose where I was able to move just days after the baby got out of foster care. 2 yrs later here we are – one big happy family…but I’m not. Since it’s been the 3 of us, my fiance and I have had “encounters”, but they’ve resulted in him only getting pleased or him orgasming. I can count the times we’ve actually had s*x in these 2 yrs. I basically initiated, but been met with a lot of rejection. We rarely cuddle. The thing is, he says its cause he doesn’t feel well all the time. He does do manual labor, he does have arthritis real bad, but he can play x box and wii all day when he’s home. Around other ppl, you wouldn’t know he was sick. He can carry a conversation like non stop, but with me, no. I’m not worried about another woman, those two consoles are who I compete with. It’s not even so much lack of s*x. We’re not married yet, so I’m kinda cool on that. But there’s no pa*sion. I try, but it’s been so long that I feel like at times I’m losing my attraction towards him…and we just recently got engaged. I love him, and believe he loves me. I feel like I’m the one trying and not him. I don’t want to be taken for granted. We don’t have to pay for childcare, I take care of the baby all day. I gave up my life for these two. He works 2nd shift and sometimes ot, but I wait up for him. I’m so willing, but he’s not. I say “our time is short” when we’re together and ask that instead of him fussing and complaining about others and his family, let’s enjoy us. Recently, I even suggested 10 min of together time, no distractions, no negativity – let’s just get into us. All he said was ok. I’m frustrated too. His job isn’t so great, I can’t find one, I don’t have any friends still in this new state, i’m bored, and s*xually deprived, but I still don’t take it out on him or reject him. In a way I do feel used. I’ve bonded with the baby, see her as mine (it’s two yrs later now)… I just don’t want to go into a stale, boring, loveless, marriage. It’s bad enought I’m having a hard time being comfortable in the pre-marriage stage. I’ve been patient…now it’s running it’s course. His idea of fun or joking is saying ‘stupid’ or ‘u stupid’ every 10 min or so. or tapping/hitting me so i tap him back. All that’s fine every now and then, but every day – no. We’re 33. I don’t believe in cheating, so I watch porn and do myself (tmi, sorry), but why should I have to. I’m not trying to do all that for 25+ yrs. I’m tired of crying and sucking it up when he comes around. I’ve tried talking to him, but it’s a vain conversation. Nothing comes of it. Or he gets mad. What can I do? I want to have children of my own, he says he does too, but gotta be intimate for that to happen. I feel like I’m wasting my good yrs. He already has his child. it’s not fair. I feel like my life is being put on hold. Thanks for listening. Hope there’s mature sound advice out there.

Mature advice wanted. What can I/we do regarding the lack of pa*sion in our relationship? Help, please.? is a post from: Relationship Blog

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