Not sure what to do, need some guidance please..boyfriend going into military?
ByI know he and I are both very young…but trust me, we DO love each other very much despite the age. I’m 18, he’s 21. He’s going into the military next year, but is still deciding on police or military. He’s told me many, many times before that if I want the sort of relationship where I get to see him everyday, he’ll stay and do police. I told him not to do this because I’d want him to do what makes him happy. We DO have plans for marriage…but I’m going into university next year to study veterinary surgery and in the beginning the plan was to go to uni, while he was in the police…and we would live in our own flat together (we worked everything out) then he had thoughts about the Army, and I’m sure that’s what he’ll choose.
My course is going to be a minimum of seven years, and he’ll be in the Army for months and months at a time so I doubt we’ll see each other very much. I want us to work out more than anything, but the ONE thing I’m really worried about is infidelity. I DO trust him, but no one plans on cheating until it happens..and with all the temptation there for him, I’m not sure I’d be able to handle just thinking about it. I love him more than anything, and we do have plans for marriage…but I still worry about it everyday. I’d miss him too much, I’m not a very social person, I have no family whom I’m close with, no friends I’m close to. He’s basically the only person I’m close with in my life. I tell him everything, I suffer from severe depression (I’m getting help with this) and I don’t know what I’d do without him. I cry myself to sleep every night knowing I’m not going to have him in just a few months.I brought up the topic of giving ‘us’ a break for a few weeks so we could see how it goes, and he almost went into tears. We DO NOT want to break up…but do you think this is best? He and I have this dream where after he’s done the Army, and me university he and I will buy a house in the Lake District…but I’m just scared it won’t work out. I DON’T want anyone else, I don’t care if it’s common meeting others in university, he’s the only one I want to spend the rest of my life with…but I’m scared I won’t be able to handle it. I’m not an emotionally strong person and I’m just afraid.
What should I do?
Is cheating common in the army?
Do you think we’ll work out? Do you think he’ll meet someone else there?
What are the chances of him dying? This is the one thing I worry about most and I can’t stop worrying about this.
Another question,will he change? I love his corny, funny personality now..and I’m afraid he’ll change. I don’t care if it’s for the better, I love him the way he is now and it would break my heart seeing him come back as a different person.
Sorry for all the ‘immature’ questions.
Thanks in advance.
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3 Comments
November 16th, 2010 at 8:37 pm
If you are already worried about him cheating than you should go on with your life. There are trust issues.
November 16th, 2010 at 9:35 pm
Yes, he will change its unavoidable, he will go into a whole new world, where he will be torn down, and built back up into a Soldier, of the US Army. I agree with the young lady who responded before me, why don’t you just pick a school closer to where he is stationed, most of the time there should be one not TOO far away. Also, I would just like to say, while yeah, we like to go find women, our worried about Jody, did not come out of no where, you would not be the only one worried about it I promise you that.
November 16th, 2010 at 9:44 pm
Just in case no one else does, I think I should give the harsh answer.
He will change. Maybe not a lot, but all guys change at least a little. If you tell him not to join, he will probably be a little bitter against you even if he doesn’t realize it at first.
Is there anyway you can pick a university closer to where he’s stationed? You won’t be able to see him for like 6 months while he’s training but there is no reason for a long distance relationship once he knows where he’ll be living.
I went through the same situation when my boyfriend joined the marines this year. Instead of trying to make a long distance thing work, we eloped and now I’m going to college where he is. It isn’t ideal, but to me it was much better than the alternative. Because no matter how much a guy loves you and how pure his intentions, resisting the urge to cheat is difficult when you’re lonely all the time!
Edit: of course he probabbly won’t be unfaithful. My issue with my guy was that I didn’t want him to have to say no all the time. I didn’t want him to have to even put up with the temptation. because young enlisted men just LOVE to go find women on the weekend. I’m not saying this to bash them, but my husband says they were always trying to get him to go to strip clubs every weekend.